Jonas' Cupid, Ch. 1: Affair

“Hey Sal! Get ready for the back-stagers!”

I looked up from my teen gossip magazine and sighed. I licked my lips and kicked my feet off of the make-up counter I have been resting them on, and replaced it with Seventeen. “Yeah, okay! Man, I wish that Joe wasn’t such a sweetie and wouldn’t hand out those free backstage passes,” I sighed and stood up, dusting myself off.

Being a bodyguard for the Jonas brothers was hard work. I never got to do anything fun. I never got to ride on the bus, I never got to talk to them, and I had to tackle fans. No, that wasn’t true. I refused to ride the bus with them out of humbleness, I talked to them after every show, and I only tackled a fan once. But man, did it hurt!

I heard the concert end, I knew by the cheers. Like clockwork, the three adrenaline hyper Jonas brothers hopped off the stage and into the backstage area, whooping and cheering. The crew crowded around them and congratulated them on a job well done.

I remained at the make-up table and waited until the crowd dispersed to tell the youngest band member the news. Nick walked by, and I called his name to get his attention. “Nick, wait!” I said. He turned back to me and grinned.  Boy, his eyes were pretty… but being a lesbian, those were the only part of him that I found attractive. I adjusted my Chicago Bull’s cap bashfully.

“Yeah, Sal? What’s up?” The youngest Jonas asked. I smiled back at him.

“Well, see… when you were performing, Gwen and Roger got a little buzzed… and anyway, they passed out in your dressing room. I can get them out, but it may take a while… do you mind dressing in one of your brothers’ room’s?” I asked sweetly as possible to stop his from getting mad.

Nick looked at me with such a look that I started to fidget. “No, yeah, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He grinned. “Hey, by the way…” he gestured over to the door behind me.

I looked where he was pointing, and gasped. The backstage fans had began to pour into the backstage, and rushed at the boys. I yipped and dodged a shrieking 12-year-old, and waved goodbye to Nick, then jogged over to the wall where I could see everything.

I crossed my arms across my chest and scoped out the two groups of fans, one around Kevin and Joe, and the other around Nick. I watched the three boys sign autographs and talk to fans. I looked over to Joe, and realized something. After every autograph, or hug, or hello, he would look up at something. I blinked a few times and followed his gaze, all the way to Nick.

I looked to Joe, then to Nick, and back to Joe. I wasn’t mistaken; he was definitely looking at his brother. I tried to read his expression, and every time I did, the same word kept coming back. ‘Passion’.

I stared for another minute, before I remembered what I was supposed to be doing. I tore though the crowd and down the hall to Nick’s dressing room. I opened the door and found Gwendolyn draped over the dresser, and Robert half-laying under his bed. Both were out for the count. “Aw, guys…” I groaned, and shook my head. I decided to start with Robert, because he would be the hardest.

I grabbed hold of his arm and dug my heels into the plush carpet. I pulled him as hard as I could. “Gads, Robert… you need to loose some weight…!” I grunted, biting my lip. I slipped and fell.

Lying spread-eagle on my back, I decided to take a break. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes for a second.

“Nick, you were great tonight!” I heard a voice gush from down the hall, which I recognized to be Joe’s. I listened carefully to the tone, and recognized the emotion as lust. I shook my head. ‘They’re brothers, Sally! Nothing more!’ I tried to convince myself that.

“Thanks, Joe,” Nick replied with a similar tone, but without as much passion as Joe, “Hey, you don’t mind if I get changed in your room? Sal said that I couldn’t use mine, there’s a situation in there…”

“No problem, little brother!” Joe said eagerly. “Just go get your stuff, okay?”

I sat bolt upright and scrambled to my feet. I looked up at the door as Nick entered and stared at me. “…Sal?”

I blinked a few times and nodded. “Yeah, no, I’m good. I’ll have them out in a little while.” I gave him the ‘ok’ sign with my hand.

Nick tilted his head to the side innocently. “…Alright. I need to get my stuff, then I’m getting dressed in Joe’s room, okay?” He asked. I nodded enthusiastically, and watched his get his clothes. He waved and left the room, leaving me alone to think.

‘I wonder… Joe seems to be really close with Nick… and almost like he’s…

In love?’

--

I looked down at Roger who snorted in his sleep and swatted at a piece of fluff that was tickling his nose. Sighing, I put one foot on the bed frame, the other planted on the ground, and grabbed his arm once again. “How did he even get under here?” I asked myself, using all my weight and pulling against the bed.

Finally I gave up trying to get him out, and I figured it would be easier to wake him up. “Roger… Roger, get up!” I murmured, shaking him. When he was obviously not going to wake up, I sighed in exasperation. I needed help. I turned to Gwen who adjusted her position on the dresser. “Hey, wake up!” I hissed at her. She wasn’t as heavy a sleeper or drinker as Roger was, so she maybe easier to wake up. I scooped up a hairbrush that lay beside the bed. I chucked it at her.

She sat up and groaned. “Ah… god, what happened? Where am I…” It didn’t take much brains to become a bodyguard, Gwen was an example of the low standards we had around here.

“You got drunk and passed out in Nick Jonas’ dressing room. By the way, nice timing.” I said, and grinned. Gwen and I loved taking digs at each other; we were good friends like that. “Help me get Roger out from under the bed, will ya?”

Gwen nodded and stood up. She walked over to my side and crouched down, and grabbed the bed frame. Brawn over brain, that was Gwen. She lifted the bed up a few feet, no sweat. I looked at her with a look of exasperation. “Why do you have to be good at everything?”

Gwen grinned, flipping her long brown hair with her free hand, which made it even more amazing. “It’s a skill you develop when you’re awesome.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Roger’s arm one last time, them finally pulled him from under the bed with a satisfied sigh. “Gosh, I can’t see why you like him so much… he’s like a tub of lard.” I sniffed, looking up at her. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t like Roger, it was just that he was a lot smarter than I am, and it sort of threatened me.

Gwen shrugged. “Why do you like Jenny so much?” She replied with a grin. I couldn’t argue with that.

“Well, you wake him up. I’m gonna go see how the boys are doing,” I said and turned to leave and waved to her. I walked slowly down the hall to Joe’s dressing room and knocked on the door. “Hey, Nick? Your dressing room is empty, you can go back in now,” it said through the door.

“Thanks Sal!” Nick’s voice piped up through the oak. I leaned against the wall and listened to them for a moment. There was the sound of quiet muffled chatter and rustling, and I closed my eyes. I scoped the hallway for stray fans that had wandered back here. That happened sometimes.

My sandy blonde bangs peeked out at me from under my cap, making it feel very itchy. I attempted to shove them under the brim again, but it just made my hands hurt. I had a lot of hair, like, a lot. In the ponytail that I usually had it in it came down to my shoulder blades.

Joe’s door opened and Nick stepped out, fully dressed in his casual wear. He smiled sweetly to me. “Hey Sal,” He said with a small wave. “Do you know when we’re leaving?” He asked.

I nodded. “We’re planning to leave as soon as you guys are ready. Is Joe done?”

“Almost,” He told me, closing the door behind him. “Have you seen Kevin?”

“Nope.”

“I’ll go look for him… you wanna ride on the bus this time?” He smiled kindly again.

“Ah, no thanks,” I said, the same way as I usually do. I was a really good friend of the boys’ parents, and they had told them to always offer me a ride. The boys were like sons to me, well, probably not sons, maybe nephews.

“Positive?” He double-checked. I nodded. “Alright. I’ll go find Kevin, meet you outside,” He said and jogged away. That boy was so sweet it could make teeth rot.

I looked over to the door and adjusted my hat again. “Joe, baby?” I called. Yes, I use pet names. They didn’t think it was creepy, and neither should you. “You nearly done in there? We’re gonna get going in a bit,”

Joe didn’t answer for a minute or two. When he did, however, his reply was that of a croak. “Mmmph, yeah, I’ll be there in a sec,”

I frowned. “Hon, what’re you doin’ in there? Are you okay?”

“Nnn… yeah, I’m fine! Don’t come in!”

I cocked and eyebrow and tried to turn the handle. It was locked. “Joe, open the door,” I called.

“No, it’s okay! I’m fine! Please... nuh. I’ll be out real quick!”

I squinted. “Hunph… well… alright, baby, but hurry up,” I leaned against the wall again and wait for him. When he finally came out, about five minutes later, he was winded and slightly flushed. I stared at him. “What were you doin’ in there? Running laps?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, it’s nothing. Can we get going?”

I shrugged. “Mm, yeah, sure. They’re waiting for us in the back by the bus,” I told him and began to lead him out of the backstage. I pushed open the heavy metal door and we hurried out to the bus that was parked in the middle of the pad-locked fenced-in parking lot.

Nick, Kevin and Jack and the others were all standing by the bus chatting among them. I waved at them, and Kevin grinned. “Hey, Sal! Joe!” He waved.

I waved back. “Well, I’ll see you when we get to Syracuse, okay guys?” I called to them and began to walk to my obnoxiously bright emerald green Porsche.

“Aw, c’mon Sal!” Kevin called. “Why can’t you ride with us for once?” The rest of the band joined in on his complaining.

I grinned, somewhat flattered. “Can’t, sorry! I have to drive my car back. Maybe another time!” I hurried over to my car and unlocked the door. I watched through the windshield as the boys filed into the bus. The door beside me opened, and I glanced over to see Gwendolyn climbing into the passenger seat. “Roger coming?”

“In a sec,” she said, buckling herself in. “Where are we going this time?”

“West Palm Beach, Florida,” I said, crossing my arms over the steering wheel. “Thank god the tour’s almost over,” I muttered, resting my chin on my arms. The black lights on the bus light up, signaling that everyone was ready. My cell rang, and I put it on speaker.

“Hey Sal!” Joe’s chipper voice said from the other line. “You guys ready over there?”

“We’re waiting for Roger, then we’ll be all set. I’ll text you when we’re set, okay?”

“Sure!” He chirped, and with that, hung up. I flipped my black razor closed and slid it into my sweater pocket. The door in the back opened and shut as Roger clambered in. He lay facedown on the seat, obviously still hammered.

I pulled my phone back out and scrolled through my contacts and found the brothers’ number. I texted ‘all set’ and waited until the bus jerking into motion. I put the phone in one of the up holders and began to follow them. We stopped as one of the help opened the gate, and we were on the road.

I sighed and glanced over at Gwen. “Hey, plug my iPod in,” I said, pulling it out of my jeans. I handed it to her, and she hooked it up to the adapter on the car radio. She turned it on and the speakers began to screech. “TURN IT DOWN!” I shrieked. She did so immediately.

When I could finally hear, I could hear that she had turned on Maroon 5. I smiled; it was a calm song, just what I needed.

We had been driving for about two hours when my phone beeped to tell me I had a text. “Can you check that?” I asked Gwen. She nodded and picked it up, then flipped it open.

“’Going to get some Burger King on this next exit. You coming?’” Gwen read aloud.

“Hmm… yeah, why not? Tell them yeah,” I said, and followed the bus as it began to turn the corner to the exit. Gwen had already entered ht text by the time I was done talking. I rolled my eyes.

We pulled into a Burger King, and hopped out of the car. Being a bodyguard, I had to protect the boys at all times, even at a burger place at 10:30. I jogged over to the bus as the boys hopped out, groaning about how sore they were from sitting for so long.

“At least you guys can get up,” I muttered to Kevin. “I’m stuck in one spot the entire time,” The man chucked and pats me on the shoulder.

“Heh, sorry, Sal,” He said, giving me a friendly one-armed hug. I sighed and shrugged.

We walked into the restaurant and found it thankfully empty. I got everyone’s orders and Gwen and I got the food, not letting the band order. The woman at the counter seemed giddy and star struck, and had been taking pictures of them with her phone ever since they had come in.

I set the stuff down on one table and jumped out of the way as they rushed the food. I sat with Gwen, Paul, and Denise, and we chatted as I munched on my cheese fries. Finally, the overly exited woman with the picture phone worked up the courage to come over and ask for a picture with Kevin. Once she had fulfilled her picture-related needs, she scurried off to her station.

The boys finished up their food, and we went back to the cars. It was about 11, and everyone was tired. We agreed to meet up at one of the Holiday Inns we saw on the way here, and we’d cover the rest of the road tomorrow.

I got my own room, as I usually did, and collapsed onto the bed without even getting changed. I crawled under my covers and closed my eyes. I was nearly asleep, when I heard something in the next room over. I frowned and tried to remember who it was that was in that room. Jack and Kevin? …No… Ryan, Greg and John… Don’t think so…

Joe and Nick?

I sat up immediately. I kicked my covers off as all of Joe’s looks and voice ran though my head. ‘Nick, you were great tonight!’ I scrambled out of my room and tiptoed down the hall to their door. “…Ah, Joe… Nnn…”

My eyes widened. ‘N-n-nick!’ I screamed in my head. “…Ahnn…” The moan came again.

I sat at the door, clawing at the back of my neck with my nails. ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…! What do I do!’

“Again… ah…”

Well I sure as hell wasn’t just going to sit there and listen to this all night! I stood up and knocked softly on the door. I heard something jerk and there was silence. “…Yes?” Joe’s voice called out, cracking with nerves.

“Nick, Joe? Can you guys come out here?” I called to them as quietly as I could to avoid waking everyone in the hotel, despite how much I wanted to scream.

“…Uh… just a sec,”

There was scuffling inside the room, and after a moment, Nick opened the door. He stared up at me, his bushy hair looking as though it had been tussled all over the place, and his face was pale, but his cheeks and nose were bright red. “Y-yeah?” He stammered. His blue plaid PJs weren’t buttoned up all the way, nearly confirming suspicions.

“…Where’s Joe?”

“…He’s coming.”

Joe appeared behind Nick, looking twice as winded as he did when he came out of his dressing room. “Hey Sal! What’re you still doing up?”

“Can I come in?” I asked. Nick’s eyes widened.

“Meh! No, not right now. We’re tired, sorry, can we talk tomorrow?”

“No, you can’t. Let me in,”

I pushed past then and flipped on the light. The covers on the bed had been pulled off and tossed aside. It looked as though they had been jumping on the bed, and I really wished they had been. “I need to talk to you too, seriously.”

Joe and Nick exchanged nervous glanced. “Yeah, okay,” They said in unison, and sat on the bed.

I pulled up one of the chairs and sat on them, looking between them for a second. How was I supposed to address this? “What were you two doing just now?” I asked them.

“…Sleeping,” Joe attempted, but the response came out as a squeak. He was not a good liar.

“Nick?” I looked at him. Nick, on the other hand, wasn’t a bad liar, he couldn’t lie.

“…we… were… uuuhhhh…..”

I shook my head and lowered my voice. “Were you two having sex?” Even I was amazed by how forward I was.

The two froze, and even the blush on Nick’s face turned pale. “Were we… what?” Joe squeaked. I was about to repeat my self, when Nick piped up.

“…Yeah.” I stared at him. His face was completely straight. “Yeah… we were.”

I didn’t expect them to admit it. I tilted my head to the side. “I figured.”

“Are you gonna tell our parents?” Joe whispered, putting an arm around Nick and holding him nervously. Nick had suddenly lost the confidence that it took to tell me, and he looked as though he was going to cry. He put one arm around Joe’s waist and the other around his shoulder, staring at me with the biggest brown eyes I’d ever seen.

“…Nah,” I said, and shrugged. Their faces lit up like stars. “Not if you don’t want me to. But,” I crossed my legs. “You gotta promise me something,”

“Anything,” Joe said at once.

“…You gotta give me those abstinence rings. I don’t care if you do it, but I do care if you lie about it.” I held out my hand.

They looked at each other and them down at the silver rings. Joe took it off at once, but Nick hesitated. He looked up at his brother, and then sighed, slipping it off. They put it in my hand and I slipped it in my pocket. “Thanks,” I smiled and stood up. “Not, you two can get back to your… activities,” I turned and walked over to the door, then left. I like making people feel uncomfortable. I walked back to my own room.

The two rings on the dresser glimmered in my dim over-head light’s glow.